How We Gained the “Filipino 15”

Long story short, we ate. A LOT.  The End.

Just kidding!

First and foremost, Filipinos LOVE to eat.  They love their food and they love to feed us.  In turn, this is reason number one as to why we love the Philippines.

That being said, my family’s ever-loving devotion to our appetites is unbarred.  If we’ve only eaten one plate of food, they ask, with a deep concern, “What, you not hungry??”  Well no, you don’t really give us a chance to get hungry.  Ok fine, no matter that I can’t button my jeans comfortably anymore, I’ll take another plate.

Here are a few more excuses attributing factors as to how we got “Filipino Fat” in 3 months:

Portion Sizes:  As stated above, we usually ate more than one plate during every meal.  In our household, meals are served family-style and there is always more than enough food.  Nobody’s fighting over the last pork chop because there are 4 more chops in the kitchen waiting to be served.  It’s also hard to keep track of how much you’re eating when Uncle William is spooning more food onto you’re plate as soon as you turn your head.

Lunchtime:  Lunch?  Ha.  More like “Midday Dinner” or “Dinner #1” or “Dinner before Dinner”.  However you like to term it, lunch is similar to dinner in terms of food and portions.

“Lunch”

The Fried Factor:  Nearly every meal consisted of at least one fried dish.  Favorite street foods such as fish balls, squid balls, and empanadas, yep, all deep fried.  Crispy chicharron pork skin, chicken skin, various offals…well, you get the picture.

Empanada and Shrimp Okoy in Vigan, Ilocos Sur, Philippines

Bagnet: Crispy, fried, pork noms

Pork, Pork, and more Pork:  My God, we ate an obscene amount of pork.  Yes, there’s also beef, chicken, and fish, but here in the the Philippines, “Pork” should be it’s own food group.  Lechon (whole roasted pig) is served during Filipino celebrations such as (but not limited to), birthdays, Christmas, and New Years.  We partook in the lechon at least 5 separate occasions during the holiday season.

We’re just a bunch of pigs.

Merienda:  Meaning, snack or a light meal, is generally taken between breakfast and lunch or lunch and dinner.  Taking full advantage of the term, we frequently used merienda as an excuse to go to Jollibee, McDonald’s (IMHO, much tastier) Filipino arch-nemesis for cheeseburgers and fried chicken.

“…or second lunch, pre-dinner, and midnight merienda?”

Sweets:  Americans fear cancer.  Filipinos fear diabetes.  They’ll tell you all about how they’re afraid they will end up with diabetes while munching on their 3rd slice of chocolate cake.

A literal Ice-cream Sandwich.  Avocado & Ube Flavor.  This is how they do it, I swear.

Booze:  We don’t have jobs anymore so yes, we will be drinking all the Red Horse, San Miguel, and wine that we want.  We laugh at all of your “Mondays Suck” memes on Facebook whilst drinking Red Horse, San Miguel, and wine.

Exercise:  Or lack thereof.  Sure, Adam went to the gym.  For the first month.  As for me, I avoid the gym the like the plague.  Back in the states, I would proudly flaunt my natural slender frame and boast I DON’T GYM.  My ever-declining metabolism and limited wardrobe is now feebly protesting otherwise.  I think I need to go to the gym.

I need this shirt.

So, there you have it: The reason why we can’t wait to go to Thailand next week and trade in our now-too-tight jeans for those comfy elastic-waistbanded harem pants.  And here are more pictures of food:

Palabok (Top Left)       Kare-kare (Bottom Left)       Fried fishies (Right)

Double-fisting some Isaw: BBQ’ed pig and chicken intestines

Sweet Stuff from Choco-Late de Batirol in Baguio: Bibinka, Sticky Rice, Turon, and fresh-made hot chocolate

Balut

No plates or utensils needed at a “Boodle Fight”

Super-fresh seafood at Kalui Restaurant in Palawan

Halo-halo: A favorite Filipino dessert. Shaved ice, condensed milk, and ice cream garnished with various toppings such as jellies, red bean, and even corn and cheese

Categorized under “Foods-We-Ate-But-Forgot-To-Take-Pictures-Of-Before-We-Ate-It” are Adobo (A ubiquitous pork/chicken dish in every household in the Philippines; one of those “everyone’s mom makes it best”), Dinuguan (pork and pig innards stewed in seasoned pig’s blood), Longanisa sausages (more pork), and the list goes on and on and on but this is surely turning into the food blog post that never ends.  For those still interested, CNN Travel has compiled a list of 50 delicious Filipino foods, 95% of which we had the opportunity to enjoy.  It’s now time to take a break–Merienda is calling…

Siopao (Pork/chicken filled steamed buns) and Suman (Sticky rice)

Note:  For the most authentic Filipino food experience, better find a Filipino family to cook for you.  The best meals we had were right from my family’s kitchen!  Dining out?  We recommend Cafe Juanita in Manila for dinner and the halo-halo from Chowking for dessert.

Second Note:  I just realized that I forgot to mention or post any pictures of vegetables.  We ate them too.